Happy New Year everyone!
With 2021 behind us, let’s take a moment to recap the year as well as provide some (mostly) humorous credit to some of our key community members. The votes were cast, and the results are in. Grab your AMC popcorn cause dis goin be good.
1. Most Helpful Person in Valhalla - @PaperhandsJB!!!
This one should come as little surprise, as JB’s drive, knowledge, and ability to orgasm at 2% gains is evident everyday.
JB wakes up at the ass crack of down, feeds his children frozen eggos, and calls out PM and RTH scalps all while driving his kids to school. For those of you in VC, JB has no shortage of advice to give and will always go out of his way to let you know he’s taking profits (which means you should probably do the same). He’s also a big reason for some of the positive community changes and always looks for ways to help this community grow.
JB, we’re thankful for your help and admire your generosity and patience when it comes to helping others grow. I, for one, wish you’d stop calling me gay with the rest of the mods as it seems like you’re fomo-ing in on that insult train.
2. Dunce of the year - @Yongsooyuk6!!
First off Yong, you are a disgrace to Korean people everywhere. I have yet to meet someone who is both intelligent and dumb. At least pick a side.
For those who don’t know, Yong was one of our first dunce caps in the server. He has proven you can evolve from being a dunce cap to a normal member of the server, yet receive the cap back again…7 times.
There was a brief moment, during the SPY Chat glory days where Yong felt like he was a god. He played Tesla FDs (like a retard) and somehow came out on top. He then played LC ER FDs (like a retard) and also came out on top. Instead of attributing his success to sheer luck, he embraced an extreme chad mentality while disregarding the micropenis still in his pants, and decided to play Chegg calls for their ER, with this as his DD:
Chegg has since lost 50% of it’s market cap.
A short list of some of his other dunce moments:
- Telling thots, our female Goddess, she sounded like a silverback
- Writing SPY technical analysis only for it to do the complete opposite…twice
- Thinking weekly options are protected from theta
It’s safe to say these hats are well-earned Yong. That said, we believe in you to continue to grow, and become a much more profitable, smarter trader in 2022. Excited to see your growth bud.
3. Best DD play - ESSC
While this one didn’t play out exactly like we hoped (the first go round), it was spot on in terms of our entry and awareness. For those of you in it for the second go-round, godspeed and may your tendies bring you joy!
4. Most likely to buy the top - @Sejit
Our resident Eeyore, our beloved Sejit.
Any given day, you can look in TF after market closes and find Sejit complaining about his options losses. It is truly a remarkable feat to hear day in day out how you’ve consistently managed to always enter positions incorrectly.
Even during times where the entire server is celebrating and happy about something, you still manage to buy the peak:
Cheers to you bud. May your NVDA calls one day turn green, and here’s to hoping 2022 sees some better entries!
5. Hottest voice in voicechat - @TheMadBeaker
Does this even need explaining?
When Beaker is in VC, VC = Heaven
When Beaker isn’t in VC, VC = Too many stories about Dustin’s life
You’ve made VC a place that’s enjoyable for everyone, as made apparent by the server crowdfunding you a laptop within minutes. The community is blessed to have you and your sexy voice to start and finish our day. Thanks Beaker!
6. Most likely to go behind Wendy’s for FD money - @No_Bags_No_Swag
I’m gonna keep it real No Bags - you won this category comfortably.
On your 18th birthday, I bet you didn’t think you’d refill your trading account 5 times in 3 months. But alas, your addiction to FDs and wish.com rocket companies is too much to resist.
Here are some of your trading highlights:
You’ve since become ascended and your car has been seen at the Wendy’s parking lot less. Our server admires your community contributions and have high hopes for you. Here’s to hoping you don’t need to give anymore dumpster blowjobs and you keep selecting the right expiry for your options.
7. Best emote - Pepepray
Whether it’s an elimination, hoping ESSC moons, or hearing someone has covid and we wish them a speedy recovery. We all know to use this emote to channel good will and thoughts towards any cuase.
8. Highest-quality shitposter - @Iloveyou
This is our very own ILoveYou
Day in day out, this dude never ceases to make many of us laugh. Homie is always coming out of left field with some top tier meme game that definitely tickles your funny bone. A quick scroll will give you some of his work:
Keep on shitposting, sir. It’s much-needed to keep the mood light, and quite frankly, it reminds us of places on the internet to never explore.
9. Most likely to get banned by thots - Swoleappa
First off, fuck everyone who voted for this. I’ve already been banned by Conq 7 or 8 times. I don’t need this shit.
That’s it.
10. Nicest Kryptek message
Thank you Kryptek for your contributions to theta gang, market inefficiencies, and recognizing Mimir’s sexuality!
11. Meanest @DannyScot Comment
When Danny made Blugo ragequit
Blugo for all we know is a kind, nice fellow, but he definitely overstepped during his time as an Upper Crust member. Danny, like the absolute chad of a mod he is, called out Blugo to the point where Blugo left the server on his own. We wish Blugo the best and quite frankly, he probably gets laid more than the entire server combined.
11. Biggest Weeb - @holi
Need anime recs? Holi
Need japanese music recs? Holi
White man who can fluently speak, read, and write in Japanese? Holi
Our beloved Holi is the weebest of all weebs. He will shamelessly destroy anyone in any anime trivia and will for sure choke you to death with Pocky sticks if you say otherwise.
Thank you for spreading anime-awareness and cheers to many more senpai moments sir.
12. Most likely to brighten your day - @Conqueror
Outside of trading, it’s clear Conq is a genuinely awesome human.
While he loves to shitpost and meme just like the rest of us, conq goes out of his way to give genuine life advice to encourage and uplift those of us having a hard time in life.
Goes without saying, but the community culture is amazing, and that culture comes from the top down. We appreciate everything you’ve done for us mr conq. Fuck you for still continually banning me though.
13. Hottest Mom - @general_winter’s
Even though you say a lot of questionable shit, like you put bacon in your Moe’s burritos. And even though you have more hair on your arms than Paki’s ass. There is no doubt your mom is a certified MILF and we would all absolutely pay for her onlyfans if she had one. Please make sure to pass on the message that a bunch of internet strangers thinks she’s hot. Thanks!
14. Best Conqueror diss to Swole
Full disclosure: I am NOT a woman nor a lesbian.
15. Best of the best-of-trading chat
And that wraps it up!
Thank you to everyone who participated in the superlatives, and more importantly, helped make the community what it is today. It’s only up and forward from here, and we all look forward to making some great money and memories together.
Cheers Valhalla.
-Swoleappa
. Appreciate the time and effort to do this. Few of my choices were selected as winners. Feelsgoodman.